Times like these

A lot has happened since I last posted. Most notably I had to withdraw myself from the Symbol position before it started. I've also broken my left arm and failed miserably to post my Picture of the Day. All of these failures have come so suddenly and so heavily on me in a time that had the potential to be great.

I go home each night after work and I don't feel the same "release" from my hell that I normally feel. This isn't to say that I feel like I am in hell at home, because that couldn't be further from the truth. Home is the one place I look forward to being and the one place I yearn for when I am away. But rather than feeling the satisfaction of being home, I still feel the "hell" looming overhead like a dark rain cloud on a beautiful sunny day on the beach. Everyone looks up as a mysterious shade interrupts their tanning session. Babies start crying as they anticipate the end of the world while lifeguard whistles alert the patrons of their need to vacate the water. People rush to their cars half dressed with their towels dragging and sandals flopping.

And just as they get the last of their possessions in the trunk (conveniently spritzed with sand now), the rain comes down. The first few drops are like icicles hurling towards you as you dodge the pellets of pain and seek cover in the car. A foolish few are still on the beach, hiding under the pathetic cover of lifeguard towers and refreshment stands. The rain pours down harder and harder as some start to drive away. Others sit idle in their cars and stare at the rain as if it were the most violent of offenders of their day off. The scattered few on the beach look out to see one utterly foolish being standing on the sand just shy of the water. Some feel the urge to heckle while others get a strange feeling of concern.

Hopefully, there is that one person who is looking out at me as I stand at the feet of the most vast expanse of life as the ocean swells up and throws splashes of salty water at me. I hope this one person is watching me without care or concern. I hope this one person realizes that we need not run and hide from that which is natural, from that which is beautiful and misunderstood and just so simply perfect. And as the rain begins to subside, the onlookers begin to peer their little heads out like scared prairie dogs. The sky starts to brighten up like nothing they've never seen before as the new rays of life shine down and warm my wet skin. And at that moment, I want the one person who watched me without care or concern to realize what just happened.

to be continued...