It only becomes a dilemma when you become one
So it's coming close to that time in my life when I am not too far away from getting married. I have been thinking about the engagement a lot, the wedding, honeymoon and even the house and kids. I think about a lot of stuff like this as my vision blurs the computer screen and database tables into a soft fur. The blues and greens and whites blended so well together and almost began looking like an impressionists painting, maybe even Van Goh?As I sit and ponder the direction I am about to take in my life, I can't help but wonder what is going on in my counter part's head; what is she thinking about? We both have spoken openly about things like planning the wedding and honeymoon spots and even how to raise our kids. Being two very strong individuals, we each have our own ideas on how we want to go about each step of the process.
However, what I cannot stop thinking about is ... at what point do our two differing thoughts become one single dilemma? I mean, right now we are technically single, even though we share our lives together. When you step into a married life, you become one person, one body, and one mind. So if I want our children to clean the dishes and my wife wants the children to clean off the table - does it become a dilemma at that point? Do my thoughts and mind merge with her thoughts and mind - creating two thoughts and one mind? If so, then every time we are not in perfect agreement, we are in a dilemma.
The only saving grace I have here is that most dilemma's don't offer some middle ground. It's either plan A or plan B - the pure essence of a dilemma is that there are only 2 options! Yet, when our minds become one - won't we still have the ability to meet somewhere in the middle? I believe we will - I at least hope so.
So what happens to the mind after marriage? Why do so many people speak of marriage as this horrible part of your life? Why do TV sitcoms project marriage as a farce and the relationship between two lovers as a battle between opposing sides? What ever happened to the good night kisses and surprise gifts? What is it about marriage that causes so many people to seemingly stop loving? I don't know. I sure as hell can't speculate. All I can do - is wait.
posted by David Malloy @ 4:55 PM
1 Comments:
We're fresh and young, maybe marriage makes you jaded, maybe it turns your life upside down, never to be right side up again. Who knows.
Or maybe we're just lucky to have found people who, while different from us, still complement us in the most unforeseen ways. Maybe marriage won't be how they show it in sitcoms and the like.
Again, who knows. The only way to know is.. to experience it I suppose.
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